hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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