I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
