We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
