I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize