He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
