yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
