It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
