Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize