Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
