I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
