i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
