I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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