I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
