I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
