GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
