I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
