Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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