I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
