Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I party with great urgency now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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