State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
