Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
