no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
