MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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