the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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