can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
