ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
