the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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