wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
