She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Houston, we have a squirter
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
