Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
cat food counts as protein by the way
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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