...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
