I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
