He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
