Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
