She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she told me i tasted like america
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
