I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
