Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
