Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
