Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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