Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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