I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
