Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
