so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
