i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
