I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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