i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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