I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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