I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
