like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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