Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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