goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
