Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
