Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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