I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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