pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
