she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize