So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize