Buhtt sex?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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