Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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