can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
whose parrot is this?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
