Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
