i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
