Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i already hear my dad disowning me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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