Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize