It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize