I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this will be a night to untag.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
