I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
