I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
