Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
