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  • "Happy Birthday. Glad you're not my baby daddy"

    Submitted by BrooklynGuy71 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm
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  • With condoms.

    Submitted by vermonter on Oct 24, 10 at 4:50pm
    180 150
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  • There's no such thing as almost pregnant. Either you are or you're not.

    Submitted by Intimidator1 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:21pm
    178 171
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  • I'm pretty sure every time you have sex you 'almost' get pregnant.

    Submitted by satign on Oct 24, 10 at 10:14pm
    140 101
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  • How do u get 'almost pregnant'?

    Submitted by phan99 on Oct 24, 10 at 5:19pm
    141 143
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  • Just say happy birthday you dumb cu nt. Almost pregnant... Did you watch the sperm swim past the egg or something? That guy is lucky he didn't knock up some stupid fuc king bit ch

    Submitted by BondDaddy on Oct 24, 10 at 6:27pm
    138 147
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  • This year how about I blow the balloons

    Submitted by ohyeahhhhhhhhhh on Oct 24, 10 at 4:40pm
    129 134
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  • Umm almost doesn't count.... Lame text

    Submitted by calixdude4life on Oct 24, 10 at 4:26pm
    127 144
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  • "Happy Pull-out Day!"

    Submitted by ttesroD on Oct 24, 10 at 6:15pm
    118 141
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  • almost as in she probably had a pregnancy scare. You people take this way too seriously

    Submitted by teets215 on Oct 24, 10 at 11:44pm
    114 134
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  • "Happy thank god there isn't going to be a birth day!"

    Submitted by cdngirl on Oct 24, 10 at 8:46pm
    122 154
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  • No if u ever had a scare u understand the almost pregnant thing

    Submitted by blu_raider on Oct 24, 10 at 10:22pm
    123 159
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  • You give him a lapdance and yamm his yipper

    Submitted by bankdis on Oct 24, 10 at 8:23pm
    110 144
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  • Happy Birthday! NO PREGGO MY EGGO!

    Submitted by GUESS_WHAT on Oct 24, 10 at 7:25pm
    113 150
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  • kudos on even wanting to wish him a happy birthday

    Submitted by forrealthough on Oct 25, 10 at 3:51am
    103 137
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  • How do you get almost pregnant. You should tell him you're a dumb slut that needs to keep her legs closed so you don't reproduce

    Submitted by TheCougarHunter on Oct 26, 10 at 11:46am
    98 128
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  • "Got you almost pregnant" and "almost got you pregnant" are two totally different things. She didn't say she was almost pregnant, she said she almost was. By correcting her you're all just making yourselves looks like complete morons. Not to mention you're guys so you don't really understand pregnancy scares.

    Submitted by Cpt_Underpants on Oct 25, 10 at 6:46am
    117 169
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  • Classy

    Submitted by tennisqt95 on Oct 25, 10 at 9:12pm
    94 124
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  • Cum in me once shame on me, cum in me twice shame on me ... Happy hump ... I mean birth... Day

    Submitted by CheezeDetector on Oct 24, 10 at 5:53pm
    118 174
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  • Happy Birthday almost baby daddy (;

    Submitted by faithhhh_69 on Oct 24, 10 at 7:11pm
    100 142
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  • you can't be "almost pregnant" doesn't work. even if you had a scare, you weren't pregnant or even almost pregnant. just say happy birthday.. stupid.

    Submitted by ckdani on Oct 24, 10 at 11:32pm
    106 156
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  • Hey it's my brothers birthday today do you know anybody from rawlins Wyoming by any chance oh and I'm an ostertag

    Submitted by 3DR0NE7 on Oct 24, 10 at 8:47pm
    98 142
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  • You don't.

    Submitted by Valkyrie on Oct 25, 10 at 10:26am
    98 147
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  • And just how does one "almost" get pregnant? Either you are or you aren't...it's not a game of horseshoes.

    Submitted by copeland2034 on Oct 26, 10 at 2:07am
    87 128
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  • Cdngirl and Vermonter, tie ftw!

    Submitted by SALIA on Oct 25, 10 at 12:44pm
    80 143
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  • al·most [awl-mohst, awl-mohst]\n-adverb\n1. very nearly; all but: almost every house; almost the entire symphony; to pay almost nothing for a car; almost twice as many books.

    Submitted by cdese on Oct 25, 10 at 1:53am
    82 149
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