No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
