I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
