i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
