I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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